Don't Suppress your Stress
“You can’t regulate your way out of the experiences that are here to transform you” reads one of my old Instagram posts from two years ago. Here’s what I was noticing when I wrote that (hint: it’s even more true today!)
Over the past few years there’s been a growing focus on the Nervous System and self-regulation as a means to healing and growth. But what I often see is suppressing stress, rather than enabling the stress to exist in your body (and to feel that discomfort). To let it move through you until it produces an alchemical transformation within you!
The industry that’s built around Nervous System regulation provides calming herbs, relaxing yoga flows and deep breathing techniques that help your system down-regulate after a stressful stimulus. What this model is missing is an acknowledgment of the divine intelligence that mediates your stress response. From a vitalistic standpoint, your body is wise beyond measure and your life circumstances (including those that induce a stress response) are opportunities to learn about the external world, your internal world and to evolve your consciousness.
What’s evolved through the existing model of stress “management” is a more sophisticated arsenal of dissociation strategies (I know that sounds harsh). Rather than scrolling social media to “check out” after experiencing stress, you’ll now choose to take a calming herb, while still relying on external means to shift your state.
Here’s what I’m calling for: Yes, there’s a time for calming herbs and for deep breathing! But only, once you’ve chosen presence first. Rather than suppressing your stress over the upcoming holidays, give yourself the gift of presence and allow yourself to shift to a down-regulated state organically (I know this won’t always work, but start small and give it a try!)
According to Peter Levine, author of Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma and pioneer in the somatics movement, an emotion/experience in your body only lasts a few minutes. This means that if you’re feeling stressed and choose to make space for the sensory experience of it, it will naturally shift and the next experience will emerge after about 3 minutes. If the experience seems to be lasting longer than those few minutes, you may be indulging in the “story”...give yourself permission to release thoughts in your mind and return to sensation in your body.
By permitting yourself to grow through your stress responses, you’ll not only prevent an accumulation of stored stress in your body that may manifest as symptoms, but you’ll teach your system the skills to respond to future stressors. You’ll raise your capacity to naturally manage stress without suppressing your ability to stay fully present with the full spectrum of Life (and what a gift that is!)
Have a beautiful holiday season, Friends!